


Minor setback

by ImpureSunday



Category: Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions, Pocket Monsters: Black 2 & White 2 | Pokemon Black 2 & White 2 Versions
Genre: ACAB, Bianca is mentioned, Crack, G-Cis Harmonia | Ghetsis Harmonia Being an Asshole, Implied Masturbation, Jail, M/M, N is incarcerated, Pokemon, Post-Pokemon Black 2 & White 2, Social Media, Social Media Stalking, cheren wants to die, crackfic, ghetsis sucks, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:26:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29832525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpureSunday/pseuds/ImpureSunday
Summary: N starts some twitter discourse
Relationships: N | Natural Harmonia Gropius/Touya | Hilbert
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Minor setback

**Author's Note:**

> I genuinely love isshushipping so much what have I done to these two <3 Anyways, I do not condone any of the actions shown in this fic, it is simply a crack fic. N needs therapy. lots of it.

N discovered twitter today. Within a short amount of time afterwards, he was incarcerated for violating a restraining order. Let’s see how these events correlate. 

(disclaimer N is my favorite character and I love him so fucking much why do I do this to him?)

Allow me to set the scene. N and Rosa were catching their breaths after quite an intense brawl. Their pokemon took the brunt of it because of course, ANIMAL ABUSE <3 they also were fist fighting cause violence. THEY WERE FIST FIGHTING WHILE THE POKEMON WERE ALSO FIST FIGHTING. So hot. 

“For a twink you can put up somewhat of a fight, N!” Rosa 🙂

N was bleeding out. Despite the immense pain he was in from the 14 year old beating his ass into the pavement, he still managed to do an entire ass monologue “Shut up for a second I need to proceed with spouting out dialogue that you never asked for” he clears his throat “ I remember something Reshiram told me once… Zekrom and Reshiram are searching for new possibilities by walking alongside humans…Meanwhile, those that live in the wild try to better themselves without relying on anyone else. There are many different Pokémon…And their different ways of living… That is the true freedom of Pokémon. That is what connects Pokémon to us. I will set off on another journey. And there is also a Trainer I want to tell how I feel… AND D A M N is said trainer attractive.. I miss him alot…” N was practically drooling! 

“Who are you talking about?? You also sound really unstraight. I suspected you liked men but holy fuck. Calm down.” Rosa was curious and a little concerned. Possibly afraid. 

N chuckled “Oh, right! I apologize for not specifying the identity of my aforementioned FRIEND. Because my sexuality does not define me as a person ROSA. Anyways, his name is Touya! You might recognize the name. He is the former champion of the Unova region so I imagine that his name is relatively prominent in day to day conversation. Also did I mention that he is attractive? Cause he is extremely attractive.” 

“Touya as in, the former champion of Unova? … Dude, that's a whole ass minor. He is sixteen. SIXTEEN. You’re- NOT a teenager. Pedo.” Rosa is afraid for the ex-champ’s wellbeing. 

“YOU’RE NOT MY MOM. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A MOM >:(. YOUR OPINION HAS NO IMPORTANCE TO ME. FAREWELL. WAHHHHHHHHHHH-” N grabbed his shit and fuckin’ booked it out of the castle ruins. 

“I AM VERY SCARED :)” Rosa.

~Tim Skip~

N had been running for about 4 ½ hours without slowing down. Wtf N???? Arceus only knows where all of that stamina came from. He then came to a halt after realizing that he ran across half the fucking region and made it to Nimbasa. N was still fuming with anger after being told that pedophilia is fucked up!!! He should really LISTEN because WHAT THE HELL N?? Arceus strike him down. He decided on taking a ride on his beloved Ferris wheel.

(honestly he has more chemistry with the damn Ferris wheel than Touya and that's coming from a hardcore Isshushipper. I lowkey really want to kill N in this fic tho <3 Why am I writing this?) 

He sits down and pulls out a phone that he probably doesn't even know how to use because he’s N and pulls up a trusty search engine and types in the phrase “ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO LIKE CHILDREN LIKE ME??????!?!?!?!?1?/!?1?1/1/” His poor FBI agent… Suddenly, TWITTER APPEARED!!! N’s saving grace. His life was about to change, for the worse mind you, forever. After browsing the Arceus forsaken posts that these awful fucking people have created the only other option was to make a twitter himself!!! He created a post along the lines of:

‘Hello, I'm glad I have finally located a community that accepts me for who I am! In this case, I am referring to being attracted to people much younger than I. More specifically, the former champion of Unova, Touya. He is a hot piece of ass. And some stupid little BITCH ASS who I will not name ROSA told me that my feelings of attraction towards him were imoral >:(. Whatever that means SMH. I am not quite sure what SMH means, but people seem to be using it when showing displeasure toward something.’

But who knows what he actually posted, this was merely an interpretation of it. That was copied and pasted. 

Then, out of the blue, N had received a notification informing that someone directly messaged him! He was beyond excited.

Twitter DMs:

@Unovan_Gym_Leader_Cheren: N WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK- when did you get a twitter and WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU IN MY RECCOMENDED POSTS?! Why are you thirsting after my best friend?? Horny on main much?

@ThatVeganLetter: Oh, hello Cheren! I was not aware that you would be able to locate my account, or that you were on this website to begin with!

@Unovan_Gym_Leader_Cheren: Answer the fucking question. Why are you explicitly describing how attracted you are to a literal teenager? He isn’t legal if you didn’t know, creep. 

@ThatVeganLetter: You seem to have asked multiple questions so I will provide an answer for each one! As for why I have ended up on your recommended posts lists, I am not quite sure. I do not control the algorithm. Your best friend just happens to be quite attractive! Also, I am not aware of the meaning of the phrase “horny on main” do you mind elaborating? AND THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE POST C H E R E N. 

@ThatVeganLetter: (I added in the spaces inbetween the letters of your name to add emphasis! It is very difficult to portray emotions on the internet.) 

@Unovan_Gym_Leader_Cheren: I- I can’t fucking believe this. I’m done. No more twitter bullshit for me today. /srs

@Unovan_Gym_Leader_Cheren: Also that’s what tone indicators are for dude. 

@ThatVeganLetter: You sure do swear quite a bit Cheren. Anyways, allow us to put this interaction behind us! I will speak to you some time in the future. 

@Unovan_Gym_Leader_Cheren is typing… 

N then proceeds to block Cheren’s account. 

~Twitter DMs end.~

Cutting to Cheren who was beyond furious about their conversation. He had to call Touya immediately. 

Phone Call:

“TOUYA? I HOPE YOU AREN’T BUSY BECAUSE SOMETHING VERY BAD HAS HAPPENED.” 

“What did you do this time Cheren? I just got back from visiting Galar and I need to unwind. Did Bianca push another trainer into the lake? OH GOD DID SHE DROWN ANOTHER TRAINER???”

“Even worse. Remember that N character who you had a puppy crush on two years ago?” 

“...Cheren where is this going..?”

“HE MADE A TWITTER ACCOUNT :)” 

“Why are you telling me this? Also, it’s been quite awhile since I have spoken to him last.. I should try and catch up with him sometime!”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT. You do realize how messed up twitter is right?! WANT TO KNOW WHAT HIS FIRST POST READS AS?” 

“Twitter isn't that bad, there is some pretty neat fanart on there! Do I..?”

Cheren then painstakingly proceeded to read out the post outloud to Touya. 

“Excuse me what the FUCK? I… I’m.. I’m at a loss for words! I feel unsafe! Are you sure you aren’t pulling my leg? Look, I don't have enough time for this. I have a date with sleeping and I can't miss it.” 

“Touya! Wait-” 

~Phone call end.~

Touya was done with Cheren’s bullshit and hung up. “Why does he insist on mocking me in this way? N wouldn’t do something like this... right?? I doubt it. N was quite sweet when he wasn't trying to end my whole career.” The interaction was brushed to the side and forgotten as Touya opened up instagram to scroll through it, falling asleep in the process. 

At the ungodly hour of 3am, Touya received another call from an unknown number.

Touya was not happy about the sudden interruption from his sleep. But regardless he grabbed his phone. “Ugh.. Cheren better not be calling me again. Huh…that's weird.. An unknown caller. Might as well fuck with them if its a telemarketer!” he answers the mysterious call. 

Phone Call 2:

“...Is this Touya?” said a familiar voice. 

“Yes, this is Touya. Who am I speaking with?” he sat there contemplating who might be calling him. But the voice was quite familiar. 

A muffled noise came through with this following, “Touya! I missed you- this is N, you… you remember me, yes?”

Touya could barely believe it.. Wtf N real????? “OF COURSE I REMEMBER YOU,, HOLY FUCK ITS BEEN SO LONG! How you doin’ bud? It’s actually quite ironic, I was just talking about you earlier”

“You- *hitches breath*- you were?” N sounded excited yet pained simultaneously. Mega (among sus. sussy) sus. “I hope you were speaking well of me. May I ask you for something?” 

“Well.. Cheren was making some ridiculous claims that were honestly really far fetched looking back on them.. And, sure! Are you okay by the way?? You sound kind of uncomfy” 

“*makes another ‘uncomfy’ noise* Y- yes I’m alright, don’t w… worry about me! Now could I possibly ask you for your ‘twitter handle’? If you have one that is.”

“Oh? Kind of an odd question.. Why do you ask?” Touya thought back to his little conversation with Cheren. 

“I- I’m simply curious.” 

“Uhhhh… Its @Former_Champ_Touya.” 

There was a pause. “Hm? My apologies I’m- distracted. Could you say it again?” 

“Are you sure everything is alright? And its @Former_Champ_Touya.”

“Thank- thank you- toUYA~ I- I must go. *cut off moaning*” Hangs up cutely. 

~Phone call 2 end.~

“I.. Was he??? Im.. not gonna question that… Its too fucking late for this shit” He passes out immediately. 

After N…. “finished”. He had a mission to go on twitter dot com again. TO BLOCK TOUYA <3 HE MUST NEVER FIND OUT ABOUT HIS MASSIVE PEDO CRUSH ON HIM. But thankfully, he discovered how to make another twitter dot com account! So he could still stalk the sexy BOYs twitter, in case there were touya pics. 

~Tim Skip~

Touya woke up and immediately checked twitter because he is an addict. The realization of what occurred last night had set in and he was SCARED. He messaged Cheren asking for N’s supposed twitter handle and decided to check the account. 

Twitter DMs 2:

@Former_Champ_Touya: Cheren.. N called me at 3am last night and I am now nervous that what you have told me might be true. What is his @?

@Unovan_Gym_Leader_Cheren: God. He is freaking me out. its @ThatVeganLetter

@Former_Champ_Touya: Aight. I will check it out, thanks. 

@Unovan_Gym_Leader_Cheren: Careful. 

~Twitter DMs 2 electric boogaloo end.~

Touya noticed that he seemed to be blocked on this account so he did what most people do in this situation and make a new account. He browsed N’s cursed account and to his horor, there were various posts consisting of N being horny on main for him. Touya felt very unsafe for his well being!! Any previous attraction he had for N dissipated in almost an instant <3\. Touya took action and decided that he would magically get a restraining order on the living letter. 

~tim skip~

Touya and Cheren were walking speaking about the whole N scandal.

“I can't believe N would do such a thing.. I mean, he is mentally fucked after all so like,,,, I aint that surprised. But at the same time… I had high hopes for him…” Okay maybe not ALL of Touya’s attraction had dissipated. He seemed genuinely sad. “He is disgusting. Why did this have to happen? <33333333” 

“I’m so sorry this had to happen to you Touya. This is why I’m glad Bianca doesn’t have twitter. I’m glad she can be shielded from people like thi-” 

Touya locks eyes with a certain tall figure. “UHHHH,,,, CHEREN I GOTTA GO.” Touya then bolted in the opposite direction of N as fast as his lil’ legs would carry him. “AHHHHHHHHHH NOT TODAY- PLEASE IM UNDERAGED, IM UNDERAGED-” 

As if it was INTINCT N got on all fours and chased him like a rabid fucking mightyena. “BARKABRAKRBAKRARAARK” MOUTH FOAMED. 

Seeing that there was nothing Cheren could do, he simply gave up and pulled out popcorn and sunglasses out of nowhere to watch his bestie <3 probably get ripped to shreds. “Lmao”

Touya felt as if he was going to collapse after running for his damn life “CHEREN- *huff* DO SOMETHING PL E A S E-”

“OH THAT’S RIGHT! Sorry-” Cheren pulled out his phone and started recording. 

“WHY ARE YOU *wheeze* RECORDING THIS,,,” Touya starts to slow.

“If I try to help you I’ll probably get MAULED- this video is for police evidence! I’m doing you a favor!” Cheren called out.

Touya’s legs gave out and he fell to the ground. “OOF- ughhhhhhhhhhh my everything hurts…..” 

N caught up to Touya who had just fell on the ground sexily, and pounced on him still like a rabid animal but also with sexual intent. His mouth continued foaming. “TOUYA *foams* wait why were you running in the first place? Don’t worry! *leans down uncomfortably close* You’re safe now! :)” 

Touya Did Not Feel Safe In The Slightest. “Please get off of me… *still kind of catching his breath but this time MIXED WITH T E A R S* I HAVE A FUCKING RESTRAINING ORDER YOU’RE GONNA BE LOCKED UP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE *sobbing* BITCH”

N was suddenly hit with the ability to feel compassion for humans again! He felt bad for keeping Touya in such a vulnerable position… “Touya I… I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to- I never meant-” N reflected on his actions, he could feel disgust for himself very quickly growing. 

Touya started to have a panic attack extremely cutely while N was on top of him. “Please.. Get o-”

Holy fuck!!1 is that a police?! Finally, they can do something good! “WEE WOO WEE WOO GET OFF OF THE FUCKING CHILD WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO EUTHENIZE YOU, BITCH!!!” po lice said. 

…

N was taken to his jail cell, upon entering he looked up to see who he would be sharing this space with. 

“Oh… Hello, father.”

“N. It seems fate has brought us together yet again.” Ghetsis snickered

“I’m so fucked :)”

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Damn you made it through this? Here, have a cookie! I am so sorry you had to witness this!!!! <3


End file.
